You are imperfect. And as disjointed as that simple statement may make you feel, it’s so freeing. Because in this life you will face mess, pain, failure, brokenness—and none of that will become your identity.
You are not expected to be without flaw; you never will be. And that might be scary, might make you want to push back and be as close to perfect as possible. But the truth is, you don’t have to live up to this unrealistic standard. You don’t have to find yourself being disappointed time and time again.
You don’t have to discredit yourself every time you fall down, or think that just because you’ve failed you are a failure. The truth is, error is inevitable. You can do everything in your power to toe the line, say the right things, follow the correct path. You can attempt to be everything to everyone, be ‘the best,’ succeed at everything you touch. But at the end of the day, you’re going to fall short.
But imperfection is not a marker of who you are.
Making mistakes doesn’t mean you’re pathetic. Just because you forget to do something, or don’t do it right doesn’t mean you’re somehow less qualified, less ready, less able to take on the challenge again.
You may (and will) fall down from time to time. That doesn’t mean you don’t have the strength to rise, the muscles and heart to carry you forward, the resolve to begin all over again.
You’re not always going to have your life so perfectly laid out in front of you. You’re not always going to choose the right path, right person, right job. You’re not always going to be confident, prepared, or even able to do what’s expected of you.
But you aren’t unworthy or undeserving simply because you make mistakes.
Mistakes are challenges, bumps in the road to overcome. Mistakes are places where you can reevaluate, restart. Mistakes are bridges to cross to the other side; they are placeholders to keep you in check, keep you motivated, teach you more about yourself.
Mistakes are ways in which you grow, change, become a stronger version of yourself. They aren’t labels to stick to your forehead; they are markers of moments in time that you will overcome—not who you are.
Mistakes make you human, and being human is so damn beautiful.
We so often look at the times we’ve failed or fallen with frustration. We think that because we’ve let others down, let ourselves down we’re not capable of moving forward. We think we’re weak.
But it is not our mistakes that make us weak, but our perspectives in the aftermath. If we discredit our human error as fragility, we’ll never have the strength to move on, to forgive ourselves, to continue.
Mistakes do not equate to weakness; believing that we are incapable because of those mistakes does.
And so we must fight back. Against that narrow-minded perspective, against the self-hate, against the doubt that forms in our mind when we mess up. We must speak to ourselves with kindness and forgiveness.
We all make mistakes, it is an inevitable part of being human. In fact, some of the best lessons are from mistakes and failures — ours and others’ — where the errors of the past becomes the wisdom for the future. As Eckhart Tolle puts it “It is through the mistakes that the greatest learning happens on an inner level.”
It therefore goes without saying that you’ll drop the ball every now and again. Perhaps even more frequently if you’re someone that’s proactive, take a lot of action, try a lot of different things, and you take real responsibility for your personal growth.
The key question therefore is not whether you’ll drop the ball but what’s your attitude and reaction towards your mistakes and failures when you make them.
Because, imagine trying to cut out mistakes completely from your life, then your growth will be significantly stifled. If you frown at mistakes and berate yourself heavily for them, you’ll learn to attempt fewer things and your learning rate will be severely diminished.
We humans respond to incentives. So, say for instance, every time your child make a mistake you scold, ridicule, and shame her for it, she’ll grow to think mistakes and failures is something to be avoided at all costs, and therefore refrain from trying things and generally not attempt anything that promises a less than 100% chance of success — which is most things.
When the price for making a mistake becomes so high, the fear of making one and the attendant punishment becomes greater than the thrill of trying new things and succeeding at them. And unfortunately, situations that holds the most learning will be avoided.
The same applies to every individual — you and me. If you constantly berate yourself for every mistake, constantly reviving past failures and beating yourself up for them at every opportunity, you’ll find the idea of making mistakes unpleasant and you’ll resort to a life of extreme caution with low self-esteem and low self-confidence dogging your every step.
